so

Doctors have been visited, I'm on a no cheese, no alcohol, no red meat diet for the next two weeks to see if it will kick start me, and they've referred me to a gym and offered me the weird slimming pills that mean you don't absorb fat, I turned those down, I may be obsessed, but I can't be doing with stuff like that, maybe if the rest doesn't work.
I missed him yesterday, desperately, like a craving, it was fucked up, but it had been the first day I hadn't seen him in like a week, he was on im, but I didn't say hi and neither did he, I hung out in the store we both go to, but that's not that weird, I have a lot of friends there and they have net, I walked home, up the hill in the rain, it was cool, there were flash floods here yesterday.
This is kind of a stream of consciousness thing I'm doing right now, it's chilling me out considerably, today for breakfast I had 5 cherries, 5 grapes and a satsuma, the nurse says I need to get into the habit of eating 5 times a day, graze on loads of fruit and veg, and it will make my metabolism speed up, she says starving myself won't help, can't help but think that probably it would, tempted to make myself really ill, a couple of weeks on iv fluids would speed things up considerably.