long time no post

so many changes,
well, I'm shrinking, down to 47-44-51.
he lives here now...as a housemate
he's sick
I'm miserable
every flinch makes my heart hurt.
he seems to be becoming darker and more cynical all the time.
I might be a bad influence
he expressed his attraction for someone who's a 16, that's a start right?
he still doesn't see me